Ominous One-Way toll on Gator Alley

That 125km (78mi) straight shot west across the Everglades from the Miami area to the Gulf coast of Florida went to one-way one-stop tolling May 4. The toll westbound at the remaining toll plaza just beyond US-27 near Plantation is charging cars $1.50, eliminating a 75c eastbound toll and also a 75c toll which used to be collected just outside Naples. That western toll plaza is also going one-way eastbound. The Plantation toll plaza at US-27 has been given 2 extra toll lanes with the elimination of eastbound tolling, part of a $9m project to improve operations of the toll Alley. The locals at the eastern end say that the state s now getting its return toll “even if the gators getcha.”

The highway designated I-75 goes through swamp almost its whole length. It acquired the colloquial name Alligator Alley, later made official, for the large number of diminutive alligators (These are no crocs!) seen lazily crossing it or even sleeping dangerously on the roadway – dangerous not for their bite (the average New York dog has a far more ferocious bite) but for their ability when hit at 90mph to destabilize a car and cause it to abruptly depart the roadway and disappear completely, and forever, into the bottomless black ooze that is at the heart of the swamp state.

The authorities say they have no data on the number of patrons of the Alley who have disappeared without a trace after hitting gators. But for the excitement it provides the One-Way $1.50 toll on Alligator Alley is clearly a bargain. It is expected to be a boost to the state’s tourism, and to toll revenues, if marketed with imaginatively macabre ads drawing on the Alley’s dark history and freaky folklore. (Creative marketers contact Kim Poulton, FL pike, 954 975 4855x1104)